Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time. — Maya Angelou
And sometimes it never does. Especially when you are too honest! — Taruni
I wrote a poem few days back. Why don’t you read that first, so that you know how hopelessly romantic I am, and it’ll be even more entertaining to know about my dating-life! 🙂
The way I’ll love him…
I want to take him to every mountain, beach and river, and kiss him there.
I want the whole world to witness,
How much love I have contained for him all these years…
I want to spoil him with all of my love & affection
My moods, and all of my phases,
I want to show him all of my faces…
And through that I want him to know how much he makes me feel alive,
By just being present…
I want to show him all my doubts & desires,
And fears & fires…
So he knows what made me this person,
And he knows this too,
That even after all of it,
I never gave away the love I have contained for him all these years….
I want to love him like he hasn’t been loved before…
I want to show him what love means after all!
I want him to be my happy home,
And I want to be his story’s prologue…
Not that I am afraid I may not be able to,
Find him,
Meet him,
Love him,
Keep him…
I am afraid of not hoping anymore…
I wasn’t even dating anyone when I wrote this!
So wipe yours tears, because dating isn’t sad. It’s Hilarious!
I am not going to list every guy I have dated, but this story… Needs. To. Be. Told!
I was never a dating person. NEVER. You read the poem? So you know why! I have grown up watching Bollywood and have been watching K-dramas while growing up, if I am not delulu, I am not living my life right, right?
It goes back to 2021, when I finally decided to give online dating a try (As an Indian kid, raised in a middle class family, I just hope my parents don’t read this). But, I worked hard, got my dream job, now what?! So I met few nice people but obviously it didn’t work out.
Why it mostly doesn’t work out?
Well I am coming back to this piece of life writing after almost three weeks, so I forgot why I started writing it. Yet, love-life still sucks. So I’ll just take it over.
I have met good and ugh people via dating. Being an Indian, dating has never been in our traditions or culture. It is of course become popular because of the influence of social media and different cultures. I think it is a good thing in a way.
Why?
Because young people today aren’t looking for a emotionally unavailable, money-making machine. We all are looking for a partner, a friend rather, which was not the case for the previous generation. And what sometimes bothers all of us is that in search of ‘that’ person, we ourselves tend to become emotionally unavailable, money-making machines! I am mostly talking from a female perspective, yet I have seen males going through similar scenarios and experiences.
It is also bad. Why?
Because most people are running away from the responsibility of committing to a person. Our generation has so many options and easier access to those options that they just can’t turn away their heads for just one. I mean, in the world of apps and fast dating, I don’t think anyone is to be blamed, but capitalism!
Alright, part of the blame goes to it, rest is on humans! Humans who aren’t passionate anymore, the ones who don’t believe in love anymore, and the ones who don’t even believe in other humans.
I am quite the opposite, which is why romantics like me always end up hurting. We believe in love, in ourselves, and sadly, we still believe in people. Even after repeated disappointments, we hope to find a genuine person, and sometimes we do. However, they’re either far away in a different state, are already committed to someone or are a celebrity.
What happens, when it mostly doesn’t work out!
For someone who’s tired of getting disappointed, the endgame is normally like Thanos fading away. No more dating, no more getting hurt, no more being too emotional or trust in people. That’s how emotionally unavailable people are born. I can see myself on that path. But to be emotionally intelligent comes with the price of never wanting to give up and let life take the steering wheel when you can’t get to the destination yourself.
After all, humans don’t exist just to YOLO their way out of life. We exist to experience things. To love, to feel and to heal. No matter how much cringe people find topics of relationships and love, they all want it, seek it and eventually want to end up in love.
So when it doesn’t work out, people like me will go into hibernation in their love lives, and some will go rogue about love like it’s Mission Impossible!
Story of my life
Liked someone. Didn’t work out. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again.n Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again. Liked someone again. Didn’t work out again.
When they say, ‘humans aren’t meant to love just once’, they clearly aren’t wrong!
I am not even 30 yet, and I have been the most delusional person I have ever met. Of course my life keeps my friends and myself, entertained. I get content to write poetry and prose. I can even write a whole book about my experiences in love. May be I will, because humans are also meant to share the experiences they go through. Because as the Legendary, Barney Stinson once said, “whatever we do in our life will not be legendary, if our friends aren’t there to witness it”.
End of story?
No.
It’s not the end. It won’t be the end, until it is The End.
I don’t know when I will come out of the hibernation mode, but I probably will try again someday, because as of now, the steering wheel is controlled by life and I am just going to enjoy the view and loving every moment of it.
Thanks for reading. Namaste.
If you liked reading this experience, do check out my debut poetry book Thorns Of Healing, which is filled with poetic experiences of life, love, mental health, healing & hope. As a new author with no publicist, I know there’s only the writing community here that can help me promote my book. If you wish to discuss on anything, feel free to connect on Instagram.
